


The Beginning of the End

by Catastrokey (orphan_account)



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: ARE ALL MY FICS IN THIS FANDOM GOING TO HAVE THE MCD TAG?, Coda: Episode 69, I'm Sorry, Implications of suicide, M/M, Spoilers, Spoilers up to Ep. 69, another thing I put into the universe in the hopes it doesn't come true, worst case scenario
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-18 23:56:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13692507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Catastrokey
Summary: When Sammy quit at the station, he’d had exactly one plan.





	The Beginning of the End

When Sammy quit at the station, he’d had exactly one plan.

He loved Ben like a brother, but there was only one place he really wanted to be. The plan had been slowly forming as clues came together and coalesced into a horrible reality. As he’d listened to Lily’s show and realized she’d truly given up. Taking shape when he’d heard Debbie warning her to get out before they became caught like her.

Caught like Jack.

God, he couldn’t believe it had taken so long. Jack had been getting phone calls just like Cecil. Phone calls he swore was someone begging him for help. Debbie was calling for help. Except Debbie was just a trap.

A trap that Jack with his stupid big heart had walked right into and never come back from.

When Lily’s last episode had come out, he’d had a god damn panic attack in the middle of his living room. Listening to Lily and her producer discover their intern had disappeared had shot him right back into the worst moment of his life. His chest had constricted as the image of a duffle in the hall and an empty running car flashed across his vision, the sole remnants of Jack’s existence in that moment.

It had been the beginning of the end.

Sammy knew he’d been deteriorating from that moment on, slowly coming in later and later to work than he’d ever done before. His hygiene had fallen by the wayside. Who cared? The only person worth being presentable for was gone. If Debbie had anything to do with it, then he was most likely gone _forever_.

Even he could see the signs, the dark intrusive thoughts that plagued him in the night. The whirlwind of self-deprecation. The urge to just stay in bed because it wasn’t like he was useful anyway. The all-consuming thought that if he had  _ju_ _st been better maybe Jack would be here._

Jack wouldn’t have struggled like this.

Jack would have had him home already because Jack had always been better than him. Jack also would have thrown food at him for even thinking that. He used to hate when Sammy got like this. Jack had always insisted that they just had different strengths and both of them were doing the best they could with what they had.

Jack didn’t do much of anything anymore though because Jack had been taken by the void.

The plan had solidified as soon as Ben told him Archie’s extremely second-hand story about seeing Mike the intern and Caroline Vaughn in Perdition Woods. There was no other plan to even consider, just a timeline to consider.

He’d called in that night to let Merv know he wasn’t renewing his contract in May.

May. He could make it to May. He could give Ben the goodbye he deserved. After all, Ben was the only thing he had left now and it wasn’t like Jack was going anywhere. Jack would never go anywhere again.

Once he thought about it, this had been building since he got in town. Jack disappearing, the tapes of the hiker they got in October of his first year in King Falls, Debbie calling into the station, all of it was connected and it had taken him  _so fucking long_ to understand. Too long.

He was a failure. Always had been, always would be.

He didn’t even know why he’d ever thought he could find Jack in the first place. He wasn’t Ben, some crazy ass hero who could pull the impossible out of the air and make it possible. He couldn’t just keep going in the face of an unstoppable force. Sammy was a quitter. He caved and gave up and gave in, just like Lily said. She always had been right when you least wanted her to be.

But he could hold up. He could save the strength to let go for just a little longer before he said goodbye to King Falls. Before he said goodbye to Ben.

Or, he’d thought he could.

But he was never right about anything anyway, so he should have known he’d be massively wrong about this as well.

Fucking Frickard just had to go and announce the truth to the whole god damn town. He’d had to announce it to _Ben_. That had been enough to do him in. Confessing the whole thing to his best friend had brought all the pain into a sharp kind of focus. One that stabbed and tore at Sammy’s insides like so many pieces of shattered glass.

There was no point in waiting.

Ben knew the truth now. He knew what a fucking coward Sammy was. He knew that Sammy was a quitter who hadn’t been able to save the love of his god damn life. Sammy had laid out for him what a mess Sammy Stevens actually was and there was no going back.

So he’d walked away, he’d quit on Ben just like he’d quit on everything and everyone else.

He’d bought out his contract from Merv, because he’d have no use for the money anyway, and driven to Perdition Wood.

The sign to Stealth Ridge Trail had been easy to find. Turning off of the trail had been just as easy. The sound of chanting had sent chills up his spine, even as he’d turned to head in their direction.

Seeing Jack there, waiting for him, had knocked his breath clear out of his chest. He’d looked so  _sad_ , but he’d also so very clearly understood. It was almost like Jack had expected it.

The thought that maybe Jack had just been waiting for him all this time was enough to bring tears to Sammy’s eyes. He’d kept Jack waiting. Sammy had wasted so much time being an idiot who couldn't figure it out and he’d left Jack  _waiting_.

Sammy hadn’t thought he could feel worse.

 _He’d been wrong_.

Taking Jack’s hand still felt like coming home, even if he was actually walking into the Devil’s Gate.

**Author's Note:**

> I cried writing this. Please god don't come true, I literally could not take it. I'm sorry to do this after the double whammy of 68 & 69 but I had a lot of emotions.


End file.
